Saturday, January 16, 2010

Foggy Saturday Evening

I just returned from a great show that showcased wonderful college students singing and dancing (some revealing a LOT!) and drag queens. It was a fundraiser for the local AIDS organization. I come away with 3 thoughts:

1) I don't like drag queens (maybe in person but not while performing). They demand all of the energy in the room for their bright attire and little talent (lip-syncing and 4 moves don't count as talent) and require all eyes on them. Seeing the amount of talent from the complicated choreography and the vocals on the student performers (all 35 or so of them) really put it into perspective for me. There's really no entertaining comparison for me.

2) I love musicals. There were a lot of numbers tonight from Broadway, including some from minor shows which really made me happy. A lot of Glee numbers but that was cool too.

3) I feel alone. There was a lot of talk about empowerment, love and couples which made me feel sad that CW was unable to join me tonight. He is only 24 and we are only dating casually but he's been out of town the past three weekends. I miss the physical intimacy we had at the beginning. I understand that he has a life (in two cities) and I'm pretty lame (read: poor) but he's about to be busy with school and I really want him. Maybe I should give up on him. I don't know. I do know that I don't want to give up on him but I might have to because I finally feel ready to move into a relationship and he's not there right now. Is it better to wait, or to be free? I can't decide.

On my way home I couldn't help but notice the fog. It developed while I was inside and was so nice. It always makes me feel safe because the world is moving slower and quieter. I enjoy it.

I just want to cry tonight.


Aaron said...


I hope you're ok. Sometimes feeling lonely/alone really makes us feel overwhelmed and want to just roll up and cry. I hope you feel ok soon. Thinking of you!

Steven Anthony said...

sometimes a good cry is all that will help....feeling alone is awful, I know that feeling all to well.
I say follow your heart friend, it usually knows what we need.

Dean Grey said...



I've gone to see many a play all by myself and even though I enjoyed them immensely I always felt like a loser for going alone when everyone else was paired up.

I know how that feels.

Hopefully the fog lifts soon!


Dane said...

I'm doing better. That night was just a low point.