Friday, November 13, 2009

Watching Up

I like this phase of my life. I like it that I'm emotionally stable yet able to cry when I want; I feel as if I'm not bottling things up. I do feel a bit alone sometimes, especially after watching Up last night.

It was the darkest of the Pixar films and they've gone to using a lot of silent animation (with musical interludes) as a major builder of the plot. I tend to enjoy that immensely because it makes me pay attention to the visuals (which I sometimes get distracted by my phone).

The first 20 minutes really pulled on my heart strings. I want to fall in love like that, grow up and have adventures with that person, and not know what to do with myself when they pass (after a good 45-50 years of course lol). I ended up crying throughout the movie because it was so sweet and tender and beautifully done.

I watched it with Ja2. He and I have been friends for about 2 months now and I'm unsure of where it's going. We went on a date, had a blast, and then he told me he's moving to another city/not over his ex. I back off and he seems interested. He volunteers to help me move and I blush. He falls into a crush (and tells me) with a guy who's in an LTR and I back off (he doesn't act on this crush). He calls and asks me to cook for him (again) last night so I cooked. He decided that he doesn't want to move away from a stable job and good friends. I don't know if he's looking for a friend or a bf who will cook for him lol. I'm assuming it's the former because of what I've listed here. I need someone decisive.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my current situation. I don't know why I feel alone; I'm mostly surrounded during my waking hours by people I like. I just want that sleeping connection I guess.

I enjoy typing out lyrics to songs sometimes and am pretty quirky. Some guy will fall in love with me some day lol.

P.S. Glee Rocked my Socks this week! Took me from almost blowing beer out of my nose to tears in a quick hour!


Aaron said...

aaahh.. there are days when i feel that way too.. esp after the sun set, and u sit in the house by yourself.

Glee is the bomb!! :D

Dane said...

I'm so far south that the sun has started to set before I get home from work! It's crazy this time of year..

Steven Anthony said...

wow...we have all felt like that at times.......chin up, it gets better;)

Dane said...

I guess what my post was trying to say is that my chin is up; I'm just a bit confused by Ja2. And I'm happier now than I've been in a long time.

Dean Grey said...


You're a sweet guy. It's clear just by reading this post.

I cry a lot when watching Disney/Pixar films too (I always bring kleenex just in case!).

Good luck with Ja2! If you're cooking is as good as you say it is, well, a really fine meal should keep him around for a while!

And I do believe you're absolutely right when you said, "Some guy will fall in love with me some day".

It just takes time, that's all. Love can't be rushed IMHO.