Wednesday, October 28, 2009


[As a preface: it's been a rough day, and I left my coffee at home this morning...downhill from there.]

I give up. I honestly try to hard and misread signals and completely am a fuck-up. I'm sad at work (not getting paid enough and the hours/workload are increasing); I feel constantly alone; I just feel like sleeping the day away.

I went on [what I thought was] a blind date last night. We had an enjoyable evening, quick dinner and a double feature of Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D! We got to chatting during dinner and what I thought was a sign that he was possibly attracted to me was just a miscue (I assume). We held hands during the movies (as I always do, regardless of who I'm watching it with) and then afterward, he stated (in a text nonetheless) that he just wanted to be friends.

I gotta give him slack though because he is newly single, only 20, and hasn't had a whole lot of experience in the dating world. Of course I had ran many scenarios in my head and realized that it was probably for the best if we did just hang out and be friends. I'm just sick of being everyone's friend. I'm sick of being everyone's back up plan or second choice. I'm sick of being the rebound guy and I fucking am sick of having to play 20 questions over and over. I'm just done with dating. blah.


Anonymous said...

blah seems to be the mood of the hour for us all at the moment....dont give up, Im told things will get better....chin up;)

Dean Grey said...

I'm sorry to hear this, Dane!

It's probably because the blind date is younger. What does a 20-year-old know about love or being in a real relationship after all?

I least you are out there trying! I gave up trying to find someone a long time ago.

Oh, and I think it's terribly cute that you two held hands during the movie!!


Dane said...

I love holding hands during movies (even Toy Story LOL).