I went to bed last night feeling like I had broken something very special. A vessel that only maybe can be repaired in some way that I have no way of knowing. I feel like I've had a broken heart for a while now (actual physical pain), and I don't know if I need to go to the doctor or if it's all psychosomatic. I have been sleeping well though, which is a positive sign that I'm not dealing with too much anxiety or stress.
Part of the reason I'm feeling this way (broken heart) is when I start to like a guy, we will meet and hang out, we will chat and [as part of our checking them out] we ask our friends what they know about that person.
I guess I pissed someone off; I guess I broke someone's heart; I guess I'm a slut/gossip/bad kisser/lover/hater/whatever, cause guys have been dropping me left and right.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it; maybe these guys are more interested in someone else. Obviously, they aren't right for me right now, but it's hard. I don't want to have to build up a positive reputation and get my karma back flowing in the right direction because I've invested too much early on.
Don't put your eggs all in one basket.
I don't know what I did.