Thursday, April 17, 2008

Chasing Life

I've been dealing with this topic or phrase for about 2 weeks now and trying to get it into words hasn't obviously been easy..I took down one of my all time favorite phrases off my computer screen a while back which has formed and flowed through my life for the better part of 4 years. It was an adaptation from a quote of Marie Curie (nonetheless) in her quest for understanding radiation and it's affects. She was speaking a full sentence but this phrase stuck with me:

...The Chemistry of the Invisible...

It has guided my search for my invisible chemistry (love) and I've always focused on it as a scientist rather than a man following his heart. I still have trouble with that and might always. (I finally have resolved the fact that I might never fully understand it).

But, as my fortune cookie said yesterday:

...stop trying to figure it all out, just relax and enjoy the world as it is...

I learned a really great lesson this weekend. My dad empowers people. I had always thought my dad was a bit out of control and my mom always reigned him back in. I learned that my mom has always just reigned ME in. I climbed out on a 100 year old tree that had fallen 80 degrees. At the top, it was still about 12 feet off the ground. We started cutting it into pieces to drag into a burn pile. I climbed out on the edge (above poison ivy, wrapped in barbed wire and thorny vines) past the point that had been cut (but hadn't fallen) and really felt free. I had to climb out there to wrap a chain around the piece of the tree that had already separated. It was really shaking and if I would have fallen it would have been bad, but I felt nothing but freedom up there because I wasn't scared. I guess it was because I was working just with my dad who was encouraging me.

I also got on a Suzuki 650 SV and rode around the property for about 30 minutes. I've never ridden on one but it was a lot of fun. I just have to now figure out how to make a left turn on them lol.

Needless to say, after last Sunday I felt really excited about life and want to continue that trend. I feel really emasculated by work lately because most of the women around here aren't that encouraging and I'm not allowed to follow my instincts (or protocol) without my bosses approval.

Anyway, I have heard a bunch of great sayings this week including:

Learning, in other words, is not indoctrination.

I think that's appropriate to life and in the context of Catholic education (which I've been studying this week) very true. I think that for one to learn something is to question it's worth and decide whether or not to hold true to it.

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