Friday, April 25, 2008

Always...

...waiting for the other shoe to drop is hard. This week has been a long and rough one and I've truly given it all I got. I actually took one lunch break all week and the other days have either been too stressed to eat or too busy/pissed/busy being run over to actually take a moment for me.

I let people get to me too easily. They push my buttons and sometimes it just feels like they are grinding away at my soul. I'm not on speaking terms with one coworker (mainly because I wouldn't volunteer to help her on a project driving pamphlets across town; but with gas the way it is and how 'critical it is for me to always be available at my desk' I said no) and she's so passive-aggressive martyr that I just don't care to even try to fix things with her. New girl is doing better; we still have our moments but she is learning that I will call her on things if she goes too far. My boss is a roller coaster of hormones these days (and I think she hates her job as well...) so I don't know what I'm going to do.. I do know that I'm being proactive about my job search in Chicago and here, and I'm really striving to set processes in place so that when I do leave they can survive thrive.

I feel like I'm gettin it from both sides. Work is stressful because I think when people are upset, they are upset with me. Home is stressful because my parents play devil's advocate when I just need them to comfort me. I guess we've always had a strained relationship, but sometimes it's nice for people to just be nice to you. I wonder if this is a sign of things to come or if I'm paying my dues to reach something better. As Davey Wavey would put it 'the universe is mine to create' and I'm trying to create something good.

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