Saturday, March 22, 2008

Sapped!

I feel sapped of all my energy left. I've had a few recent realizations as of this afternoon.
1) Happy that spring break camp is over! Not looking forward to Monday though (lots of work yet to do).
2) My mom doesn't buy healthy food, wonders why she and my father never feel good, and can't get to their optimal weight.
3) I don't know if I am destined for happiness. I'm prepared for success and for survival but don't necessarily know or understand happiness. I think I'm too critical by my nature. I think I'll eventually have a successful relationship, but not sure if I'll gain happiness. Maybe it's an existential identity crisis...who knows.
4) I need a new job probably within the next 3-6 months (hopefully in Chicago...).
5) My parents will always be hypercritical of my life, regardless of what I choose to do with it.
6) I grew up in a racist, xenophobic, hate filled home, yet turned out to be a pluralistic and love welcoming person...Who knew?

Anyway, I'm really depressed and I feel it's over a larger issue that I'm trying to address but it's hard. I have just realized how broke I was financially when I moved in to my parents house, as well as finding out more of my clothes have been stolen by my former roommate while I was out...bummer.

1 comment:

Christopher said...

Happiness will come as will love... but it must start with happiness and love from within of one's self.

-C