Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Checked Out

No, unfortunately not that kind. I just feel checked out of it. it all; work, life, driving, food, sex, alcohol, boys, all.

I don't know if it's because I feel depressed or because I'm only getting 4 hours of sleep at night (while tossing and turning for the other 3-4) or if I just don't know how to react to situations that have come up in life lately.

My parents are hypercritical of every thing I do. They question how much I spend on my bills, how much I'm saving, how much I spend at lunch, and how much I spend on myself. They question why I'm tired all the time, then when I'm out at night where I've been and why I didn't come home earlier. They question why I do things in a certain fashion, and not their way. I guess they are just parents; I haven't had that much time with them in the past few years so it's a large major adjustment. I assume they'll always be hypercritical of me.

I'm beginning to think that new girl believes shes my boss. She sends me emails and leaves notes on my desk telling me to do things. She has even taken up CC-ing my boss! to which my boss replies that I'm on the task and it will get handled in the appropriate time. I just don't understand that she doesn't get business processes. I'll stop with the new girl bitching because it's unproductive.

I did have a deadline of 3pm on a project that was a collaboration of 6 other staff members sending information to me. I got most things last week and early this week, but one major aspect of it didn't come into my inbox until 3:15! I wasn't upset; just wondered why I was to be blamed if I'm only the assembler.

Well I have jury duty in a few weeks (yay a break from work!), but one of my friends is also coming to visit that week. I might just 'be off' that week and claim that the jury duty took all of my time...we shall see.

We just got a new IT guy at work; no news there, but my inbox is FILLED to the brim with system messages from bounced emails...I've received 100 in the last 15 minutes. I think we've got an issue!

Nothing ever happened with Andy after our second date. He was and is busy; work takes up a lot of our respective time; I am not in a good place to date (can't host because I live with my freakin' parents); He must have realized that I'm crazy. I may be cute but I'm definitely crazy (I accidentally just tried to type trash instead of crazy; maybe I really need to work on loving myself a bit more.)

Me a year ago...

How does one love themselves more?

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